The lady I call Mom – An Amy Speaks Blog
I was 15 years old the day I met the lady that I call my mom today. My ex-husband, her son, introduced me to her as, “this is my new girlfriend Amy, she doesn’t really have a mom, her mom gave her away.” She embraced me in a big old hug, and said, “I’ll be your mom, everybody needs a mom.”
Looking back, that introduction was a window to the trauma bond me and her son held with each other. Like whom introduces people like that? Anyways, back to the topic.
Mom and I became the best of friends. The first day we met we were cooking up some yummy Mexican food and jamming out to music together like long lost pals. It was like this every time we got together! I always looked forward to seeing her.
Flash forward 6 years. My then husband (her son) was battling addiction, and our relationship was far from healthy. We had a one-year-old daughter when we all moved in with Mom. Our Family lived with her off and on for the next 6 years while we expanded and while I continued to stay with my kid’s dad while he battled addiction. The relationship was abusive, and she knew it wasn’t healthy. But she also knew I wouldn’t leave until I had my fill. See she had walked the same path herself, and she knew the game.
Bless her heart, sometimes she put herself in the middle of our fights to protect me, against her own son. While she had empathy for her sons’ struggles, she also had empathy for the unnecessarily hard time he was giving me and the position it put me and her two granddaughters in. Mom stood in the middle as strong as she could rooting for her sons’ sobriety and rooting me on to empower myself to move on so I could be the best momma to her grandbabies, who where her life. How torn she must have felt at times, but she never faltered.
Finally, the abuse got to a point where her son was sent to prison for 4.5 years for 3rd degree felony stalking. Mom could have shut me out for sending her son to prison, but that isn’t what she did, she stepped up instead.
Mom started taking the girls every other weekend for me. She told me it was important for me to find myself and have some time for just me. Mom excitedly listened as I told her about the ups and downs, I faced, the new adventures I got to experience, and all the challenges and joys of motherhood. She was there to encourage my every step forward into my new life as a single mom. I guess she knew I needed it, because when she could have used support like that it never came to her rescue. Mom would drive 2 hours one way to come to my daughters’ school programs; it is one of those things in life you could never place value on. Her motherly comfort and care were truly invaluable to my success as a mom and as a productive member of society.
I have been divorced from her son now for almost two decades. Mom and I are still the best of buds. When I think about the gravity of the sacrifice she made for me it fills my heart with gratitude that could never be repaid. For me she will always be my hero, my friend, and more importantly the lady I choose to call my mom. So Happy Mother’s Day to my mom! Mom, thank you for all the things you didn’t have to do that made such an amazing impact on my life.
If anyone is struggling with Domestic Violence, there is hope. Below are some resources that can help you find a better tomorrow!
Citrus County: CASA – Domestic Violence, Domestic Violence Services
Hernando County: Hotline Helpline | Hernando County | Dawn Center of Hernando County FL
Pasco County: Domestic & Sexual Violence Center | Sunrise of Pasco County
Sumter County: Haven of Lake & Sumter Counties, Inc.
